Axel Is Annoying
by DiGi Kurosaki
Summary: Axel's a flirt. Roxas' annoyed. Zexion's attentionstarved. Demyx's sugarcrazy. Larxene's a gossip. Xemnas' a loner. Xigbar's crazy. Xaldin's ignored. Lexaeus' stupid. Vexen likes to experiment. Sai'x is gay. Luxord's French. Marluxia's female. AkuRoku
1. Hey Zexy!

Yoshimi-Ok, so, yeah. 3 stories already and now another on, right? I'm insane if I think I can acutally survive this (especially one-handed). Oh yeah. Forgot to explain that. My right arm is broken. It was a hammock accident. If you really wanna know just ask.

Axel- Heheh...

Yosh- Shut up.

Axel- Can't help it. It's just too funny.

Roxas- It's not funny! It's sounded painful!

Axel- Painful...but funny.

Yosh- Both of you, shush! Oh, and my Disclaimer...you know what...here.

**Title:** Axel Is Annoying  
**Genre: **Romance/Humor  
**Rating: **M  
**Reason:** Language and Sexual Themes  
**Pairings:** A little AkuRoku and maybe some Demyx thrown in the mix there (grin). Zexion, too. Oh, and possibly some RikuSora. (shrug) Who knows?  
**Discalimer:** I do not own the RIGHTS to Kingdom Hearts. BUT I do own the games. Kingdom Hearts (RIGHTS) belong to Tetsuya Nomura and affiliates.

Yosh- I think that's it, therefore, ONWARD!

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Chapter 1: HEY ZEXY!

You would think, on a beautiful day such a this, the people would be peaceful. You would think that no one would TRY to piss someone off, but OH! Lookie there! That was EXACTLY Zexion's predicament.

"Hey, Zexy!" the red-head screamed from across the room, just before Zexion's escape succeeded. He stopped dead in his tracks, eye twitching in anger. Spinning around he stomped his foot in frustration and impatience as Axel strode over to him.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that?"

"Calling you what?"

"Calling me...y-you know..."

"I know what?"

"Zexy, dumbass!"

"Oh, hey now! You may look good, but don't get all up on your high-horse just yet! Show some modesty!" Zexion's fist spasmed as he clenched it tighter. Axel could REALLY irritate the hell out of someone. "Besides, you can't use my words!"

"YOUR words? That's my name!"

"Hey, hey! What'd I just say about modesty!"

"Modesty my ass! In fact, speaking of asses, why don't I shove THIS up yours!" He flung out his hand and Axel's own weapon appeared in a burst of flames and smoke. Axel began to sweat, stepping back, smiling, and waving his hands in front of him.

"Oh, come on! It was just a joke!"

"For the past three years 'it was just a joke'! I'm getting sick of jokes, Axel!"

"Well, the thing was...ano..." he began searching the room quickly for a scape-goat. Chairs, vases, walls, Roxas, chandelier...wait...ROXAS! "I wasn't talking to you anyway! I was talking to Roxas!"

At hearing his name, Roxas looked up from the book he was reading and turned to them.

"Roxas?"

"Roxas! Hey, Zexy!" Zexion's eye twitched as Axel ran over to Roxas, ignoring him. Although Axel was the most annoying man the world (that never was) had ever known, Zexion still liked the attention and was angered when it was switched to Roxas. Roxas ALWAYS got attention.

As Axel reached him, Roxas tried his best to continue reading, knowing very well where this was going to lead. Even though it was all just pretend, Axel loved to flirt. With everyone. Even Xemnas.

...ew...

"You know, Roxas..." he whispered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders from behind.

"..." Roxas, flushed, expecting some snappy line.

"You 'rox' my socks." Roxas swetdropped. That sucked.

"You're an idiot."

"We're not done, Axel!" Zexion called. Axel waved a hand to shoo him away, not even looking up from Roxas.

"What'cha readin'?"

"Read the cover..." Axel smirked, snatching the book from his grasp, marking the page unnoticably and flipping it to the front.

"Hey!" Roxas said, spinning around on the couch and reaching for the bundle of bound papers.

"Ah, ah, ah! You told me to read the cover!"

"I meant to go around and read it from the front!"

"Ah, but you didn't specify!" Roxas growled, noticing Zexion steaming as he stomped off. Axel looked at the book. 'Tropical Island And Their Natural Fruit'. (1)

"Axel! You made me lose my spot!"

"Oh, please! Look!" He flipped it open to the page he had been on and showed it to Roxas. "I'm not mean." He pulled it back again as Roxas swiped for it. "So, what kinda 'fruit' are you reading about?" He saw a picture of some kind of star-shaped 'thing' and turned it back into his view. He pointed at it. "What's that?" Roxas blushed a deep crimson, looking away, arms draped over the back of the couch in defeat.

"A fruit." Axel took a second look.

"What the fuck kinda fruit is that?"

"It's a damn fruit, Axel!"

"What's it called?"

"Can you not READ?" Axel pouted, causing Roxas guilt. But only a shallow guilt considering he lacked full emotion. He did have half a heart afterall. "It's called a Paopu fruit."

"And it's shaped like a fucking star, why?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"Where's it from?"

"This place a few worlds away called Destiny Islands."

"Sounds familiar..."

"Tell me about it. I heard the name and saw the pictures and automatically thought I'd been there before."

"Been there? But you haven't even been out of Castle Oblivion since we brought you here."

"I know that...but, maybe...I dunno...before, I guess, I might've lived there...well, not me, but...you know what I mean." He buried his chin in the fabric of the couch, eyes glazed in thought. Axel grinned stupidly, leaning in closer to him.

"Wow, Roxas! Your somebody lived on an island! That's 'hot'!" he said, trying to make a pun. Roxas sighed.

"Please stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Jokes."

"Stop joking?" He gave a hurt look.

"No, actually, I taked that back..." Axel smiled, full of hope. "Just...stop talking in general."

"But..!" He was cut off as Roxas pulled him in towards him and pressed their lips together, softly. Axel immediately stopped trying to talk (or move). Pulling away, Roxas snatched his book and stood, walking away, leaving Axel standing there in shock.

"Later, Zexy," he called back as he left the room.

And the rest of the day, all of Organization XIII wondered as to why Axel gave no irritations, flirtations or commentations.

* * *

Yosh- Ok, so, to answer your questions now. 'No, this is not the end', 'No, Axel did NOT know Roxas liked him OR that Roxas is starting to remember Sora', and 'Yes, this is stupid, I know.'

Axel- He...he kissed me...

Roxas- Yeah? So?

Axel- (chibi form) (tackles Roxas) icha icha, icha icha, rub rub, rub rub...

Roxas- (blush) Ah! What the fuck!

Yosh- (giggle) YAY! Chibi Axel is here! Anyway, I got to go! Ja ne! R&R please!

(P.S.- If you are SasuNaru fans, I have plenty of stories about that. AKA- 3...for now...)

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--Yoshimi Kurosaki

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	2. To Demand Of Love

Yoshimi- Okay, so, here's chapter 2 of...what's this called again?

Roxas- (slaps forehead)

Yosh- ..._WHAT?_

Axel- (chuckle)

Yosh- STFU

Axel- (sticks out tongue)

Yosh- (pulls out scissors)

Axel- 8P !!!!! (pulls tongue back in)

Yosh- I thought so...anyway, chapter 2. (click-click-click)

* * *

_"To demand of love that it be without jealousy is to ask of light that it cast no shadows."_

-Oscar Hammling

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Chapter 2: To Demand Of Love

"Hey, Roxas!"

"BACK OFF HIM!"

"Yo, Rox!"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY!"

"Number 13..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, MANSEX!"

That's what had been going on all day. Anyone who even spoke a single word to Roxas was screamed at and insulted by Axel. For being a usually calm, collected, flirtatious guy, Axel was being EXTREMELY protective. Nobody knew why he was being so posessive with the thirteenth member of the organization. Excessive obsession was usually down Vexen's lane. Besides, yelling at Xemnas was not very intelligent.

He blinked. Not once. Not twice. But _three _whole times.

"Excuse me, Axel, but I believe you need your eyes checked. Do you not see who you are talking to?" Axel puffed up his chest trying to act big and mighty. Roxas sweatdropped. The idiot was going to get them in trouble.

"I can see damn well who I'm talking to."

"Then I suggest you calm yourself before I have you terminated."

"I don't care! No one talks to my Roxy!" Roxas slapped his forehead.

"Please don't call me that..."

"Axel. Calm yourself. Why are you being so posessive."

"I AM NOT!"

Suddenly. Without warning. Demyx came barrelling into the room, wild-eyed.

"MUFFINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And as quick as he came, he was gone. Silence.

"...Do either of you know what happened to him?" Xemnas asked. They shook their heads in the negative. "Yes, well. Never mind. I'll get Vexen to do it." Roxas nodded and turned around to leave, Axel right on his heels.

Vexen stepped into the room, rubbing his hands together, eyes wide and deranged. He set his gaze upon Roxas and leapt.

"ROXAS! Please! Let me experiment on you!" At the same moment, in midair, Vexen was sent flying. He skidded to a stop at Xemnas' feet.

"HI-YAH!" Axel landed from the kick in a fighting stance and Roxas took his chance to run. Axel, noticing that Roxas was running away, followed. "ROXY! Come back! The mean-old man is gone! He won't hurt you! Don't run from him! He's nothing to be afraid of!"

"I'm not running from _him_!"

Xemnas sighed, rubbing his temples. The people he dealt with on a daily basis. He peered down at Vexen who stared up at him hungrily.

"No, Vexen. You are not experimenting on me." Vexen slumped to the floor in defeat.

* * *

Yosh- Yes. I know. Pure crack.

Axel- (tackles Roxas)

Roxas- OOMPH!

Axel- (huggle)

Roxas- (sigh) I give up...

Yosh- Okay. Then you won't mind me writing some smex?

Roxas- (blush) YES I MIND!

Yosh- No smex?

Roxas- No smex.

Yosh- No yaoi?

Roxas- No yaoi.

Yosh- No shounen-ai?

Roxas- (ponders) Ok, but that's it.

Yosh- YAY! SHOUNEN-AI! XD

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**Arigetou Reviewers**

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**Arigetou and Oyasumi**

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-Yoshimi Kurosaki

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